Making a god of "The Moments"

Something I've realized about myself as I've gotten older is that life is not as fun and adventurous as it used to be back in high school and college. I was more spontaneous and I had a lot more room to budge with my free time.
If I wanted to go on a road trip, I could. If I wanted to hang out with friends, we arranged it that day and it happened! If I wanted to do nothing all day, I could. It was glorious.
But now, I have obligations to be places every day or every few days. I know my schedule is pretty much the same with a few exceptions week-to-week. I find myself being disappointed with events that used to be so exciting. I'm always confused as to why something that I anticipated so much couldn't keep that nagging feeling of emptiness away. I think I figured it out......
I have so much excitement building and building for an event, that when its actually over, I get disappointed and down.
Like for example, I can get so excited for a weekend full of fun events, that when they're over, I feel sad.

Why? I believe I have made a god of "moments." I have let my heart get so entangled with the emotions of fun events fulfilling me, that I have missed the mark.
What does it mean to make a god of a moment or moments? It means that I have let the rush and excitement of special or important moments in my life take the place of God. I have expected them to fill me up and make me happy and well, they're just not. Sure, they encourage me and make life not so monotonous, but they're not meeting my needs like I want them to.

How do I fix that? I need to turn to the Source of happiness, which is God. He has promised me that He will fill me with joy in His presence and that eternal pleasures are at His right hand. (Psalm 16:11)
So, when I really spend time with Him and see the big picture of who He is and what He's doing, those things that I depended on to bring happiness are just extra blessings in my life that come. They're not the true source of my happiness and they won't leave me feeling empty anymore. They'll make me all the more grateful for His many blessings in my life.

So, Here's the scenario now...
When I go to this amazing event in my life and feel sorely disappointed it's over, I will choose to remember that my true source of happiness comes from God alone. We, as humans are just not capable of comprehending how high, how deep and how high His love is for us and how much He wants to fill us up every day. But we can try. I'm going to try harder this week to find that God, the Maker of all of my moments, is fully capable of making me glad. Will you join me?

Last Week Was Interesting....

The week started out with continued excitement as Daniel started his new job as an interpreter!  He has been consistently manning the computer looking for jobs and grabbing them when he can.  So far, he has worked at a hospital a few times, a few schools and a homeless shelter.  He's going to have some very interesting experiences to come and I'm excited for him!  Here's to the new job!

I'm proud of you, Daniel!








-This week at school has been kinda interesting.  I've had to deal with a new frustration that I've gratefully never had to deal with before now.  I'm having to step up and explain the rules to someone and quite frankly, it's not fun.  I guess there's a reason for all of this, but I pray it gets better before it gets worse.  I think back to my first days in the job and I remember how hard it was....and I'm so grateful I'm not there anymore!

-Interesting evening experience of the week-
Daniel and I went grocery shopping the other night and I really don't like shopping at night.  But, now that I have a male with me at most times, I am willing to go there after it turns dark.  We were walking out after shopping and a very suspicious-looking young man walked out with his basket like this (except he looked nothing like this guy):

He walked next to us and I quietly told Daniel, "Hey, he doesn't have any grocery bags. I think he's stealing."  We watched him and he got in the car with 2 other ladies ready to drive off.  A grocer came out and said "Excuse me, where's your receipt?"  He ignored him and got in the car.  Daniel and I were both like, "What in the world?!?!"  But then, we saw the smart grocer take the person's license plate number.  He deserved a Grocer of the Week Award for sure.  I'm hopeful that they got the car and the guy got in trouble.  But goodness, it was kinda scary to witness, because you just never know! 

-Neeext, I've really been trying to act like everything is fine and dandy with my health, but it just hasn't been.  I've had a terrible immune system most of my life and sometimes it's fine, but other times it's just a mess.  I'm having some tests run and I'm hoping for some new answers, but it's been kinda rough!! 

-And who can really express the sadness of losing Big Tex at the State Fair??  I remember going to see him almost yearly growing up and I just feel like he's such a staple character and was a consistent strange-looking man I'd see every year at the Fair.  It's hard to believe he went down to the ground in ashes.  I'm actually really grateful, because Daniel and I met my Aunt Joanna and cousin Alex at the fair the other day.  We took a picture and the picture was lost on my Aunt's phone.  So, I had this feeling (I'm sure this was prophetic) that we needed to go take a picture in front of it again later.  So, we did and we got a great final picture in front of the REAL Big Tex. (I know they'll make a new one, but it just won't be the same!)  I'm so grateful Daniel got to see him as this was his first time to the fair!!     

On a funny note, my mother and I were texting about this and she said "And he died on his 60th birthday!!  I hope this is not an omen for turning 60!!!" (Says my wonderful almost 60-year old mother!  lol  She's a funny lady!!!)


So all this to say, sometimes I have weird/bad weeks.  Sometimes, I have bad days.  And maybe I'll have a bad month, who knows.  But this just makes me more and more grateful for a God who sees all, knows all and takes care of all in His timing.  I might not ever get this situation at work resolved, but I have a God who can resolve me right now within this situation.  That man that stole might not ever get caught for stealing, but God saw and knows that man's future.  I might always have health problems, but I believe and trust that my God will supply ALL my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.  (Philippians 4:19) 
When times are frustrating, I'm going to choose to be happy, because I have a God who loves me dearly and wants me to learn how to be content in all circumstances.  So, even though this blog post seems like there is a lot of frustration going on, I am very glad for these circumstances.  Yes, I said that.  I say this, because they are helping me to see that God is bigger than everything that happens to me and He wants me to be more like Him through these situations.  If I can come out of all of these happenings without being burned too badly (unlike Big Tex :( ), then I'd say that I'm pretty blessed.  
Thank you, God, for all of Your continued lessons in my life!!! 

My New Life is an Adventure

So, here I am....a married woman, newly 30 years old and amazed at how far God has brought me. 

I was living the single life for what seemed like a long, long time.  But I can't say that it was "wasted time" or that my life "just now started" because I'm married.  I was able to enjoy a lot of great adventures of traveling, learning things on my own and lots and lots of friend time.  I learned how to focus on my passions and pursue them with no distractions.
But now....I have a husband....in my house....all the time.  (I lived by myself for 6 years and I'm an only child. Enough said! ha!)  It's been an adjustment to say the least.  Oh, and to top that off, I live with a Venezuelan.  Yes, my husband is from Venezuela and moved here for me all in the name of love. (I say "Go big, or go home!")  We went through the whole process of a fiance visa after 2 years of long distance dating.  He was here for 3 months before we got married and now he is a resident.  Talk about a whirlwind of a process!  I can honestly say that it feels like I have a mail order husband because he and I both had to prove SO much to be able to get him here.  Craziness!! 

So as you can probably imagine, we have had to learn quite a bit together.  Here are a few:

1.  I had to cut out the word "mine" when speaking with Daniel about things around the house.  I might have even used the phrase "What did you do to MY computer?" That didn't go over too well, but from the perspective of an only child that never had to share her things, it makes sense to me.  Ha!

2.  I have an extremely LOUD husband...he talks loudly, walks loudly, snores loudly, watches TV with the volume on LOUD and even sings loudly.  It's quite an adjustment to go from a peace and quiet home life to a life filled with new noises.  "Shhhhhh" is definitely a must-say phrase in our lives.

3.  I have to remember to pick up my stuff now!  I used to let things slide for a while on cleaning and now...he expects it to be put away.  What?!?!? (This is one of those good things I've had to learn, but very hard when in a routine!!!)

4.  Spanish TV and music-Sometimes Daniel wants to watch Spanish TV.  I understand Spanish, but not that fast...so I usually just end up playing on my phone.  Oh, but sometimes, he watches "funny videos" and laughs his head off.  I have no idea what they are saying, so I in turn get frustrated and ruin his fun. 
The music thing is NOT a problem because I used to go salsa dancing.  But, sometimes, he listens to old Spanish music that is not even close to appealing in my opinion!  I eventually end up asking him to turn it off after I can't stand it anymore. 

5.  Boys are gross!  Let's just leave it at that....

6.  Outside friend time-Let's just say, I was one of those girls that did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to and never had to ask anyone if it was ok.  It's not that it's bad to ask if it's ok to go out, but it's different.  I love spending time with Daniel, but my friends were "it" for me for a long time.  That's had to change!  It's not been a bad thing, but a learning thing for sure.

7.  Life as a married couple=two sinners living together which in turn = fights and frustrations.  I have never done well with fighting.  Fights stress me out, make me uncomfortable and I usually end up crying no matter what.  I have had to learn how to fight fair and talk through things.  It's hard work for both of us!!!!

8.  Sharing a bed is a whole different ballgame!  I married someone that loves to utilize the whole bed while sleeping and happens to snore.  I've learned to adjust, but at first, I was less than willing to deal with it nicely.  Thank goodness I have an understanding husband!!!

9.  We need grace and lots and lots of prayer.  So, some people seem to think that when you get married, you don't need God as much because you have your new best friend.  Ohhh no, I've learned that you need God MORE!  Here's why...you never know how either of you will react to situations or what will cause problems each day.  You have to give it to God and understand that He will work it out.  And he has gotten us through many many misunderstandings thus far.  Prayer helps SO much because He is in charge of both of us and can speak wisdom into our hearts when we are upset.  I am speaking for both of us, but we are SO grateful for a God that desires for our marriage to be peaceable and shared with Him. 

10.  Honesty flows.....freely.  Sometimes Daniel is so honest with me, I find myself in a puddle of tears for silly things.  See, I care so much what he thinks about me, that when I find out his opinion, I can reallly take it hard sometimes.  He ALWAYS means well, but sometimes I tend to take it too personally.  It's one of the most difficult things I've had to learn in marriage so far, but it's been beneficial to know that I have someone that wants the best for me.  So when someone wants the best for me and knows me well, they are going to tell me the honest truth sometimes.  Ohhh, how the pride can get in the way!  :)

In all the learning, the most amazing concept I've gotten to learn is that the love grows each and every day.  I can honestly say that I didn't know what loving Daniel really was when we got married.  We had only been together consistently for 3 months before we got married.  Even though we saw each other while dating and talked on the phone ALL the time, I have truly fallen in love with Daniel in these last 7 months of marriage.  It's incredible that love can grow and I love being able to experience it each and every day.  It's a true blessing from God.  We are best friends and we truly need each other's encouragement and love.  Oh, and we have a lot of fun!  :) 
So there you go....life has changed...for the better for me.  Don't get me wrong...life would've still been good if I wasn't married, but Daniel has been an incredible addition to help me become who God has called me to be.  I'm a grateful girl!