Reflections on the Year that Changed Me For the Better

How do you summarize the most monumental year of your life?  How do you put into words the emotions, the memories and the complete adoration you feel for your baby?  I guess that's what I'm trying to do here...both to reflect and to try to release emotions of sadness that they are over, but happiness for the new ones that have begun.

Let me start this by telling you that I am a person of simplicity, comfort and peace.  I enjoy my alone time, but also love being with people with a maintained balance.  My world was rocked 4 years ago when I went from being alone all the time, to my husband and I being together all the time, which put to rest my "only child" world.  I had to learn the words "ours" and "we" instead of "mine" and "I" all the time.  I went from being the main person talking with others, to my husband being his social self and talking more, while I became more reserved.  My peaceful life was not so peaceful with a boisterous, Latin man.  I learned how to love someone no matter what...even when they were sometimes frustrating and annoying.  I learned how to be less about me and more about us.  It was very hard, but I grew so much from it and continue to do so.  I have definitely not "arrived" and my only-childness  creeps up constantly in marriage.

Then, I get pregnant.  My world was all about this little being growing inside of me and everyone wanted to know all about it!  I was the center of attention again, which was so different for me!  I loved knowing that people were excited about my baby.
Finally, I had him and my world was rocked in the best way possible.  Having him taught me that life was all about family and loving the people in it well.  He taught me that even if I wanted comfort, his comfort was more important to me.  It was natural and felt so amazing to provide for him.

Now, 13 months later, my beautiful baby boy is growing so much and I'm sitting here wondering what I ever did to deserve having this amazing child. And how we already got to 13 months blows my mind!  I can't explain how much I don't care that my world is all about him and less and less about me.  I adore seeing people loving on him and enjoying him.  I live for his hugs and his sweet, wet kisses.  He wears me out, but I go back for more with no hesitations!  It's almost more than I can handle! 

 When I say that he's a joy, I don't just say that because he's my child.  I say that because this child lives for moments to catch someone's attention and flash a huge grin at them...He loves to make people laugh....He hugs babies when they're crying and hands them a toy....He learns how to enjoy almost every moment he has and tries his hardest to get others to join in on the fun....He babbles like crazy and "talks" to people or to our dogs like he makes complete sense (But he can say "dada", "mama", "agua" and "Isaac" now!)....He can't stay mad for long without cracking a grin because it's just not him.  The list can go on and on.  This kid is every reminder that I never knew I needed to be joyful in all circumstances.  He is just an absolutely incredible kid and I can't believe I get to be his mother.  When I sit here and think about all that we've been through together as a family in the last year, I just want to cry and hug him!  We did this together!  We got through all the busy work/school schedules and all the sleepless nights and came out on top!  He's doing so well and we have ourselves a happy, smart and healthy kid.

And to see this baby's face light up when he sees my husband...oh, man.  He adores his daddy.  He is a studier and studies every move he makes.  It's incredible to see them together.  It's hard to believe that because Daniel and I chose to be together, Matthew is here with us.  Even though my joy is insurmountable having him now, that joy wouldn't be there without Daniel and I's choice to unite as one almost 4 years ago.  It's such a complex thought to even comprehend.  I think that's why marriage must be the foundation for your family.  It's a reminder that it was the beginning of a family and without that beginning, your family wouldn't exist.  I will never be able to truly thank the Lord adequately for giving Daniel and I each other and in turn, our little man, but I will try.

I want to thank Him for teaching me how to love in a way I never could've imagined.  Even when Matthew has been difficult,  I learned how to serve, love and cherish every moment.  Even when I'm exhausted, I have learned that I would do anything for this little guy, happily, again and again.    

Putting aside myself has been a sacrifice that has ultimately led to so much joy.  I love my little family and wouldn't have it any other way.  Only child, comfort-seeking, my way-or-the-highway Diana has moved out of the way in so many aspects of my life and I'm grateful that God saw it fit for me to be a part of this family.  I pray I will always embrace glimpses of grace and love within our family that help remind me of all the sacrifices He made for us.